Glass

It's been a bad weekend around here for glass. And milk. And pillows. And pretty much everything else that isn't nailed down.

Friday morning started out pretty well. Oh, except that Thursday morning Paul dumped the last couple of cups of milk out into my cereal bowl (I filtered it out and saved it for bread--we'll come to that later) and I hadn't gone to get milk, so I didn't have breakfast. Anyway, after everyone else ate and I snagged a couple of uneaten bread crusts (doesn't my diet sound delish?) Derrick and I helped the kids clean up enough I actually vacuumed their rooms and I was well on my way to cleaning the bathrooms. While I was working on my bathroom Paul decided to brush his teeth using my toothbrush (Mom's stuff's ALWAYS better), so I pulled out a new one for me and let him have at it with my old one. He's a pretty messy brusher so when I finished I went out and got a clean rag, then came back to wipe up the mess and take care of the rest of the bathroom while I was at it. Paul ran off and I got to work.

I don't quite remember why I left just a couple of minutes later--probably going for windex, even though that was already under the sink from a previous attempt at cleaning--but I heard a tinkling sound in the kitchen and walked in to find Paul clutching the candy thermometer and chewing on something hard.

He swallowed.

Not yet ready to believe I'd watched my child eat glass I took the thermometer away from him, confirmed it was broken and then asked him if he'd eaten it.

He said yes.

Now, twenty two month old children aren't the best at answering questions, so I still didn't quite believe he'd eaten glass. I shooed him out of the kitchen and swept up the area, looking for the missing pieces of the thermometer bulb.

Yeah, they weren't there.

I wasn't even sure if glass was something I needed to worry about. I mean, my kids have eaten all kinds of crap they say to call poison control about (deodorant, toothpaste, soil) and  every time I do the poison control operator says as long as they haven't eaten more than a certain amount they'll be fine. But I always call 'cause hey, I don't know the safe amount of whatever toiletry is safe for my child's consumption. So I called the doctor's office.

"Hello, my son just ate some glass..."

"He ate some grass?"

"No, glass. G-L-A-S-S."

"Oh. The nurse says take him to the hospital."

Fun.

I got my kids ready relatively quickly, but while I was putting together the diaper bag and crap to keep Sylvia occupied in Derrick's office Sylvia decided to pull all the stuffing out of one the couch pillows. I didn't immediately scream at them, so they (I guess) assumed the activity met with my approval and they proceeded to empty all of the couch pillows onto their newly vacuumed bedroom floor, covering it in soft, downy whiteness. Again, I did not scream. I let them roll around in the pillow fluff until I was ready to go, assuming (for one correctly) that they would be occupied with this one act of destruction and would stay out of other trouble.

Sylvia was really quite a champ about going to her dad's office for the day. I think the prospect of spending all day watching movies made the deal for her. Paul was not so happy about having to leave with me, but I dragged him off and we made it to the hospital between an hour and an hour and a half after I first discovered Paul chewing on glass.

The rest of the day pretty much consisted of sitting in the hospital. We waited a while to see the doctor (which I was fine with, since that indicated to me he was a low priority) then went up for some X-rays. The only annoyance from the wait was I didn't feel comfortable giving Paul anything to eat or drink until I'd spoken to a doctor, so he was rather cranky by the time we went up for the X-rays.

Cranky kids are not cooperative kids, just in case you were wondering. Paul wouldn't take off his shirt, wouldn't sit, wouldn't do anything. I thought maybe if I fed him he'd be more cooperative so I took him out and nursed him, which also put him to sleep. Unfortunately, he was no more cooperative after nursing and sleeping a bit. Three of us adults were required to get him to sit still enough for the pictures. Fun times.

So you can imagine how thrilled I was when the doctor told me he wanted another X-ray.

This time we had to wait a little longer to get in, so I tried explaining to Paul what he needed to do. A different technician took us into a different room, where Paul still freaked out a bit, and then we ended up going into the first room anyway for some reason I didn't quite follow. It didn't matter, though--Paul was a different kid, very cooperative, very easy. The first technician (a guy) couldn't get over how much better behaved Paul was.

We got a snack and hung out in the waiting room until about 5, at which point Paul started seriously tantruming, throwing the stroller on the ground, throwing himself on the ground, hitting me. He needed to eat and needed to go home, so I told the triage nurse we were going to go. She said she'd get the doctor and I took Paul out to get another snack while we waited. Then we talked to the doctor, who told us there was probably glass in his digestive tract but not in his lungs and we just needed to watch him carefully for a few days, and then we went home.

Yesterday was much less eventful. I kept trying to leave so I could write and little things (rain especially) kept getting in the way. I turned the milk into sweetbread dough, which I let rise a couple of times and stuck in the fridge. I made Derrick make pizza dough for dinner and while he was working on that one of the kids dumped a cup of water into the sugar. I pulled out the wet sugar and stuck it in a pan and left it for the rest of the day. I never got out by myself, but we all went to Tea Tree Plaza on the bus, got a phone for Derrick and groceries for the week, and then came home and had pizza for dinner. Oh, and Derrick lost his bus card, which is annoying but not a big deal.

Sigh. I try so hard to be a good mom, a calm mom, and most of the time I do okay. Not so much last night. While Derrick was making pizza crusts I started a movie with Paul and Sylvia. Stupidly, I went in to check on Derrick, leaving our one functional laptop on the couch. When I went back in I found Paul with a stack of keys pulled off the laptop.

I was so mad I wanted to hurt someone. It's incredible how quickly you can go from the deepest concern about the health of your child to being so angry you want to hit them and don't care if it hurts.

I did not hit Paul. Instead, I yelled, then walked away from my sobbing children.

I walked for a long time.

Not as long as I kind of wanted to, but long enough. I went home, hugged my kids, took Sylvia's apology (which still makes me feel bad since she wasn't even the one who incurred my wrath) and helped with the rest of the evening.

I hope my kids are really as resilient as they seemed to be this morning. They came in and cuddled, just like normal, and then Derrick helped them put together shields for sword fights while I made cinnamon rolls. They've been as loving and spunky as they usually are. Last night seems further away than Friday, and for that I'm glad.

I'm guessing the cinnamon rolls didn't hurt. The cinnamon rolls (made from the milk Paul dumped out Thursday) were covered in caramel (made from the wet sugar from yesterday) and were a huge hit. I was especially glad we had them to share with the neighbors who kindly gave Derrick a ride to the airport today when he realized he'd miss-read his itinerary and needed to be at the airport in 30 minutes.

Someday I hope I have a day devoid of drama.

7 X 5

Best parts of the day:

1. Sylvia waking me up by singing happy birthday.

2. Getting phone calls from my mom and sister.

3. My house, filled with the smell of roasting pork all day long.

4. Paul, snuggling with me after his nap, telling me, "no, sleeping" when I threatened to get up to clean.

5. A very fun dinner party, including much conversation with other adults.

6. All my friends' kids shyly wishing me happy birthday. I think I was a kid like that once.

7. My kids playing quite happily and well with the other (significantly older!) kids during said party. The kids (the older ones, I'm sure) set up their own dinner party in the play room using Sylvia and Paul's kitchen. Just fantastic!

8. Laying down with my kids at bedtime, Sylvia singing me happy birthday again, and Paul joining in. "Happy birthday. Singing!"

(You may notice birthday cake is not on the list. I made the Southern Living carrot cake. While it's nice and moist, it's also a brick in my stomach. Next time something lighter. Pavlova, perhaps, since I am down under?)