Sunday, 17 May

Breakfast--potatoes with onions and bacon, well-seasoned but not crispy.

Talked with Derrick's parents, mostly about kids, inconsequential things. Philip's kids keep getting lice from the foster kids' siblings. Carolyn has a new kitchen with glass-fronted cabinets that go to the ceiling. Roger is looking at a BMW convertible.

Hung laundry while kids played and Derrick worked on the yard. He's emptied one of the beds of rock, exposing the dirt and plant roots underneath. Took out one big root, he's guessing from the neighbor's walnut tree. We'll need to add soil or something.

Pulled out the bread and crackers kids dumped in the pond during the party last weekend. Most of it was growing and disintigrated at my touch. Really should have taken care of it earlier. After the grossness of touching cold, slimyness I took a shower, took Kip with me.

While I was in the shower Sylivia and Paul made orange/lemon/apple drink. Said it was good (I don't believe them). I shooed them outside and hung up another load of laundry. Kip is the favorite toy. Paul took Kip on a ride in the garden cart over the pile of rock and dirt Derrick pulled from the garden bed. It looked like the cart was about to overturn as he pulled it across and I freaked, screeching and running toward him. Nothing overturned.

Kip fell asleep as I was putting lunch together for the other kids. Sylvia and Paul were remarkably dirty (mud does that) so they showered before lunch, then tried to eat naked, huddled in their towels on the kitchen floor. Lunch--pizza rolls (Derrick and me) and cheese-bacon rolls (Sylvia and Paul).

Neighbor (Harry) came over as we were eating. I heated up some soup (celery and onion with horseradish). Talked about church, Mormonism, Utah.
Kip woke up and I took the kids to church.

Classes were already going (something like 2:15 or 2:20 when we arrived) so I slipped everyone in and went to class myself.

Sunday school talked about the Prodigal son. Someone asked if God subjected the whole land to a famine to change the heart of that one person. If that were true that would make God a serious jerk.

Feeling self-conscious since teaching last week. I felt like what I presented was the right thing up until the moment I started reading a blog post/essay (obviously uncorrelated), at which moment it was like an alarm went off saying, "wrong, wrong, wrong!" Definitely felt the anger of the piece more while reading it out loud, which might be the issue. Ever since I've felt guilty, uncomfortable, like I've committed a terrible sin of which I need to repent despite the fact that many people thanked me for the lesson, described it as powerful and profound. Fully recognize it might just be revenge of the teen-age angst I feel any time I do something that brings attention to me.

Relief society felt like an oblique refutation of everything I taught. Sis V talked about needing deep tap roots, about intellectual or social conversion alone being insufficient. Railed against education (my fave), about needing spirit of discernment to challenge teachings that sounded good on the surface but were subtly wrong.

Some people don't like being challenged. Some people equate discomfort with evil. (I know I sometimes do)

Stopped at the chemist on the way home to pick up my bc prescription that I forgot to get yesterday. Told the kids if they stayed with me we'd go to Cole's and get a treat. Sylvia did a great job (Kip too, of course) but Paul disappeared. Turned out he went to Cole's on his own and picked up a wedge of watermelon as his treat. I chewed him out but we still picked up candy. Didn't give any to Paul, though, because he hadn't stayed with me. Conversation on the way home he kept asking why he handn't listened. I told him it was a learning thing, but probably should have asked him to answer the question himself. Next time.

Derrick had a fire waiting for us when we got home. Roasted marshamallows with the kids while I worked on dinner (curried cauliflower soup for adults, mashed potatoes for kids).

Sylvia tried to juggle fire. Serious chewing out for that one and banishment to the house.

Paul was so tired at the end of dinner he couldn't finish eating and so again didn't get any candy. Poor kid. Sylvia got a couple of mento's but left the table so I ate them. Gave her one back when I realized she'd successfully gone to the toilet on her own (yipee!)

Bedtime for kids, Derrick read, I sang. Kip fell asleep shortly after the older two and I held him on the couch while reading "The Alchemist." Derrick watched a couple of episodes of "Castle" (one of the shows that makes him/us look like Republicans if you only know our TV viewing habits) then looked for flights for my trip to the US for the writing excuses cruise.