Monday, February 2, 2009

Apologies

While Derrick and I were in San Francisco, we ran into a classmate of mine from Caltech. This particular classmate happens to be gay and, when we ran into him, was going out to some gay clubs with a bunch of my (hetero) friends from Penn State and 'Tech. They invited Derrick and I along, but since we had Sylvia I was pretty sure 1--we'd need to put her to bed soon, and 2--we'd stick out like sore thumbs.

Anyway, not long after we got back from AGU and from Christmas, I came across Seeking forgiveness, a blog where Mormons post their apologies for prop 8. I'd like to add my own apology here. I am sorry for the pain. I am sorry for the loneliness, for the exclusion. I am sorry people I know and respect, and love, participated in this hurtful action against others who I know and respect and love. I am sorry our collective cognitive dissonance allows for the support of prop 8 by a people who were formerly reviled for their own peculiar marital practices. It causes me pain that this group with which I align myself is aligning itself so strongly with other groups and other viewpoints I find abhorrent.

I know, dear ex-friend, you will almost certainly never read this, but I am sorry that nearly a decade ago I voted for prop 22 and, during that time, I bought into all the lies about gays and lesbians. I am sorry that so long ago I told you I thought you shouldn't be able to adopt--I was wrong to think that, and especially wrong to say that. I'm sure it surprised you to learn that I thought you less human, less capable of love and nurture than a heterosexual person. I am surprised today that I didn't fully realize the implications of my blind acceptance of those beliefs, and embarassed by my nievete. I know nothing will ever bridge the chasam I opened between us with my callousness, but I promise I will do my utmost to be more thoughtful and less divisive in the future.

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